thejabberwocki:

If you ever get frustrated with your writing, just remember that Tolkien once described Feanor as
“wounded with many wounds”

unclefather:

gf: Come over

me: i can’t i’m skiing

gf: I have dog treats

me: image

I told you. All the men in my life die.
I’m not a man in your life, okay? You said so yourself. I’m a little shitpot.

smokecigarettesamongstthestones:

My brother says “shit happens” in response to everything

My brother was given a “shit happens” mug because of this

My brother loved his “shit happens” mug like a child

Last week, my brother dropped his “shit happens” mug

You probably know what his reaction was

theglitterfaded:

Men are allowed to think body hair is unattractive

Women are allowed to think body hair is unattractive

Men and women are not allowed to tell other people how they should groom themselves just because of what they find personally attractive

aconsultingwarlock:

itsajensenthing:

starlit-notes:

I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, and my fingers…because I can always count on them.

this will be my speech when i win an oscar

Don’t forget the hips, for not lying. 

unraid:

life would be easier if i lost weight as fast as i lost followers